Do you really wish to take this path? How many times have we faced danger created in a lab?
Iron Man
I don't know, but I remember your little blonde Enchantress taking down the whole team. Twice. And who was the guy with the axe, another Asgardian? Oh, right. I remember now. He was going to chop off my head.
Why, because I've an attachment to this helmet? Mind thee, it was a gift from my father -- my first war helmet, given me when I was still an adolescent. Does duch sentimentality surprise thee?
You two are of a select few mortals who have ever watched my change. E'en Iron Man -- with whom I did share the secret of my dual life -- seldom watched me assume my godlike form. I believe it disturbed him.
By Ymir's frost-covered beard, art thou mad? I create a new secret identity as Sigurd Jarlson-- I entrust one Avenger with my address-- Thou com'st hither to ask my aid-- and then thou wouldst consume fried fowl ere returning to our allies! By my troth, Olympian! Every time I consider thee a full-fledged god, thou remindest me of thy half-human heritage!
I owe you an apology, Captain. When you first spoke to me about your problems, I had doubts... about you. They were quickly erased... when you lifted Mjolnir... for only a man or god worthy -- pure of heart and noble of mind -- could have done so!
So many incredible things have happened to me in the past few days! So many mind-staggering sights... so many changes. No one could have predicted the greatest change of all! No one could have forseen the tragic chain of events which would completely change the destiny of an average guy like Eric Masterson...
I have many names, Son of Asgard. You would probably best deem me The Goddess. Open yourself up, Thor, and feel the grandeur and the potential for universal nirvana within me.
Using my hammer to tap into dimension energies... to create a rift in-between realities, where I shall hurl us both... and if I am to spend eternity there, battling you to maintain the safety of two realities... then that is an eternity well spent! Or, to use thy own words... so be it!
Men have never needed an excuse. Murder is part of the mortal world. Men are ever devising new ways to subjugate and slaughter their brothers in the name of some cause or --
We've all seen what you can do with those weather powers of yours, but do you really think you can go head-to-head with a real life God of Thunder here?
Storm
Honey, you tell Thor I'm gonna fry his fat cheeks with the rest of you morons!
Are you serious? This was your plan? This was your big plan? You're going to take the bomb and dump it in Narnia?
Iron Man
Oh, stop being so Eastern European and relax, Natasha. We're talking about the Norse God of Thunder here, honey-bee.
Black Widow
No, we're not. We are talking about a former mental patient. Are you the only one who hasn't noticed? Thor's insane. He's out of his mind. The poor man's a delusional schizophrenic.
Tony said he hated the Norse god speech pattern I'd developed and promised to give ten million dollars to charity if I spoke like a normal person again. Frankly, it's a little insulting, but he started an online petition and the charities said they really needed the money.
You sounded weird and pretentious, my friend. We've got enough going on without you distracting everyone with that faux Shakespearean thing you had going.
Then I would give you another choice, an offer, a -- position of sorts. When they perish in the fields of war, you will carry the souls of deserving warriors to a place called Valhalla -- where they shall know everlasting peace. You will be their protector, and their guide, when they leave the mortal realm. ... But you will be more, as well. You will be a symbol. Men will commit great acts of bravery and sacrifice, for just the hope of glimpsing your face. You will inspire them. And I give you my word, girl, if you do this, one day, many ages from now, when your service is finished -- you will join your lost love there, in paradise. This is your calling, Brunhilde of Wrlstead Arms, if you would have it -- you will be my Valkyrie.
That's not the whole and simple truth of it though, Thor -- think about it. I had a lifetime of memories before finding the stick in the cave that transformed into Mjolnir -- and transformed me into you. Something about that last adventure of yours, though...something about your "death..." It freed me from the prison of you. And you...didn't even notice.
If you had this power, you think you could have solved it all -- solved everything... you think you could have done so... much... better... don't you? DON'T YOU?!
Because I felt like it. Always act on your impulses, Sam Wilson. Life's candle burns too briefly not to live in the moment. Avengers! Until our paths cross again...
Wow. That... that actually hurts. 'Cause didn't you date that non-union construction worker Thor back in the day? What was his name? Strikebreaker? Mulletstrike?
A woman Thor? Do not be ridiculous. Did my father send you here to torment me? Is that why you are holding my birthright? My Mjolnir?How... are you holding Mjolnir? How is a wench worthy of the hammer when Thor is not?
You came to me, Queen Medusa. If this is how you all want to die, Beta Ray Bill shall not stand in your way. Love is as good a thing to fall for as any. I do what I do for the dog.
I'm afraid I'm not going anywhere, Angela. My time has run out. The real me, he could have let me go about my business, but instead he's dismissed the spell that created me in the first place. He really is a cretin. At least he let me live long enough to see you reunited with Sera. It wasn't so bad, having me around. Was it, sister? I mean, at least I made things interesting. Good luck replacing me on the team. Before I'm gone... can I hear you say it just once more? Just call me --
We have claimed a hard-fought victory in the greatest war the realms have ever known. Let us enjoy that victory together brother Stark! Here in the Avengers' Tub of Hotness!
Boy... look at them... look at their bodies... at how they've been... crushed. You've wielded it for eons now... if anyone knows... it would be you... must I say it?
Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
